How I Finished My 1st Book
Writers and Coffeeshops go together like peas & carrots. Lemme tell you about my current favorite one and how I finished my first book!
1. My favorite coffeeshop in Vegas rn is none other than Brew It. It’s owned by a Puerto Rican family. It has both a sports theme and a cozy soft theme. Spacious booths, easily accessible plugs, board games, video games and my specific favorite, a large last supper-esque table in the middle of the space. I only divulge this info because I know that for a business to stay open, it’s gotta be visited by patrons. So, boos, do me a favor, go to Brew It, get a Pumpkin or regular chai latte and be kind to your barista. If it’s a gray-haired gentleman, then that’s probably Willie. He’s one of the owner and he knows he makes a mean chai.
Me inside Brew It, at the booth that will eventually have my name on it!
2. Finishing my first book was weird…because I didn’t have a deadline. I worked at my own pace and told my small publisher, Wrags Ink, how and when things would happen. There was never any pressure because they believed in my work. Wrags Ink was run by two Nigerian American brothers Alan and Rich, who shifted from having a record label to a publishing company.
I sat in several St*rbucks all over Las Vegas, after a few instances of trying to write in spots like The Freakin’ Frog and Mad House Coffee. But the St*rbucks on Badura held me down. I chomped on petite vanilla scones, dirty chai lattes with almond milk, and turkey bacon sandwiches for a week straight. I played albums I knew thru and thru so I could sing & vibe while editing my work. I was in search of a groove in the writing & found it in music.
What was I listening to?
Justin Timberlake’s The 20/20 Experience and John Legend’s Love in the Future. Smiling at the familiar “Open Your Eyes” a song that I only knew thru Common, but it’s really Bobby Caldwell’s pen that gifted us this beautiful love song.
There are times, when you'll need someone
I will be by your side
I'll take my chances before they pass, pass me by
Oh darlin', there is a light that shines, special for you and me
You need to look at the other side
You'll agree
And really the opening of the album felt like John understood the life I was living:
This is a new year for love, love in the future.
Not the one I lost, not the one I lost.
IYKYK, it took me a lonnnng time to let go of my old love and let new love in. The book (Vogue 3:16) was part of that release. I had written several poems about my ex, some of which were bangers. But I vowed not to make my whole book about that break-up. It had to have different themes. It had to help me embrace change. So, when I finished John’s album and curved into JusTimberland’s (Why haven’t we been combining their names? LOL) dope ass collaboration, I was thrilled and like, legit tickled at the last 90 seconds of every damn song! Every song had more than 1 identity. The style of the song would change, they would speed up or slow down, depending…It was like an album of Marvel Easter Eggs. I remember thinking, “These guys have figured something out…” I mean they HAD to have been in the studio having a good ole time! I would’ve loved to have been inside that room!
At the 5 minute mark in Strawberry Bubblegum, Justin brings his lil TN lilting swag to tempt you into this whimsical groove. I remember typing faster because I wanted to keep up with the beat and hit my periods at “POP!” LOL. I just…had fun. And I felt like I was making progress on my project while listening to someone else’s art. Something these two dudes found fearlessness in. It was slightly unheard of at the time for pop songs to hit a 7 minute mark. I thought to myself, “I’m never gonna hear my favorite parts of these songs on the damn radio! They’ll never play the full videos on TV.” And I’m sure Justin and Timbaland knew that too. But they bet on their audience to listen to the music. To find other ways to take in their project. So they stayed the course. And so did I. I finished editing my book, rearranged the order, and told my guys, Alan and Richard Okewole, to hit print on that thang!!
3. This was one of the last poems to be written, but it is the first poem in my book.
Sometimes I Forget To Breathe
Sometimes fears sink their canines into my tongue
My stomach is overcome
bulldozed by doubt
Angst weighs in the pit beneath my lower eyelid
and I am lucky to even get out my heart’s prayer
This physical space always feels cramped and borrowed
I am always too wide
Too loud
Too presumptuous
Zealous
A well, overflowed with wishes
When the person I loved most
showed me the sonogram
that would end our relationship
I cried joy for his happiness
not the loss of our future
I have picked up burning hot skillets
with bare hands
and focused only on transferring food to plate
I taught myself how to stifle coughs
so people would never notice me choking
I tend to concern myself with invisibility
To stop breathing so loudly
To order the least expensive item on the menu
To enter rooms in silence
and sneak into a modest corner
In my twenty-six years worth of infinite wisdom
I've become a professional
at telling myself & God what I don't deserve
God provides blessings, I play hard to give
This behavior…
This life…
I'm glad God is persistent
I have to remember
I have done what others wouldn’t
I have shared worlds within five-minute-moments
Others may not understand why I give so much
But it is always worth it
I have to tell myself,
“Carry on, sister-girl. Carry on.”
No matter where I am
there is a place I belong
I deserve to be loved
Deserve to be forgiven
Deserve to be well-fed
Bedded well
And by deserve, I mean I don't
deserve any of this more than the next
human being sucking air
At the very least, I deserve to be thankful
Remember, in the early 80’s, two children
put their hands together and the only thing
they asked God to give them
was a little sister
I have to remember
I am the product of the prayers of children
I am enough
I am here on purpose
And the reason this physical space
always feels cramped
and borrowed
is because the only place I’ve ever belonged
is in the heart of an earnest prayer
________________________________
I completed my first book because I had:
Good music that enhanced my process
Determination
A support system
A safe place to write and eat pastries all day, with a touch of caffeine.
